Men Share 66 Things They ‘Didn’t Know They Did Wrong Until They Started Living With A Woman’

Whether we're talking about romantic partners or just really good friends, moving in with someone can dramatically change a relationship. The two of you not only get to lower living costs, but also spend way more time in each other's company.

Sure, with all the socks laying around the house, there's a chance you'll exchange a few cold stares and words. But there are also plenty of opportunities to bond and even learn from one another.

A recent Reddit post by user Gerdaandemail is an excellent example of that—they submitted a question to the 'Ask Men' community, trying to learn what guys hadn't known or realized until only after living with a woman and got plenty of interesting replies.

From organizing your wardrobe to proper self-care, continue scrolling and check out some of the most popular ones.


ALWAYS HELP WITHOUT ASKING. It’ll save your entire relationship/sex life/cuddle life etc. If you say “Do you need help?”(chores etc) she’ll say “No I got it” and it’s logged as the first resentment cut of a thousand. Don’t ask because you think it’s polite, just do it. There, saved you a divorce.

Image credits: Dinosaurs-Rule


Joking aside I’ve learnt a lot of good stuff, like caring for various things. For example how to properly store fruits and vegetables so that they don’t go bad, how to take care of textiles/clothes so that they can be used for longer etc. Also that I didn’t eat nearly enough fiber before. Loads of things. People say that their girlfriends nag a lot but honestly there’s a lot of good stuff to be learnt if you just listen.

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Can't just use towels for generic tasks, specific towels have specific purposes. Failure to comply is sacrilege and punishable by immediate scolding.

Image credits: Supersix4


That my bed can't have just the one pillow. Apparently I need a million of them.

Image credits: KingShaka1987


Skin. Care. My friends all laugh at me for derma rolling, beard oiling, clay mask in the shower, special serums for my under eyes, lotions & creams etc… smooth, soft skin, & (soon) softer beard.

I dont flake, I dont itch, & I look youthful. Meanwhile my friends are endlessly picking at their faces and complaining about beard itch.

Skin care, lads

Image credits: Gh0st1117


I never learned how to pay attention to, comprehend and express my feelings. Especially the emotional-gooey-feely ones, but also when things would bother me, so I wouldn't work on things when they'd bother me, I'd just...leave. As in, the relationship. So through many years of ruining things, much heartache, and painful growth, she had the love and patience to not only see that there was potential in me, but also to not give up on me. I had the emotional tenderness of a brick basically. It took hitting rock bottom to understand that if I didn't learn to do those things, Id lose the best thing that ever happened to me. If it wasn't for her, I'd be in a drunk in a ditch somewhere, probably alone. Now I'm only sometimes drunk, completely happy and in love in a functional relationship. She's basically a Saint for putting up with me having been emotionally disabled. And the gift thing: well, there is joy in giving to others and seeing how much happiness she would get from seeing people's reaction to gifts made me stop wanting to keep her from doing so, stop being selfish and lean to take joy also in making my friends and loved ones happy about a thoughtful gift. I was an emotionally dysfunctional man, after living with her, I'm less like an actual porcupine and more like a plush toy porcupine.

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Apparently shampoo goes on the scalp and conditioner goes on the loose hair, not the other way around!

Image credits: stultuscerebri


I didn't actually know how to communicate my feelings. Also, I learned how to give gifts that are meaningful.

Image credits: estevat0


Giving her space while giving her affection. Apparently, when she says all she wants to do is sit down and watch her novelas in peace. She actually means she wants me to sit down with her. But not for too long. Just long enough.

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Apparently there is no acceptable place to trim my toenails, so I just have to wait for when she’s not home.

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Folding towels. I’ve lived with 3 women and they all insist that hot dog style with a tri-fold is the correct way. Apparently my hamburger style is for Neanderthals.

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When I get into bed, I lie down too hard, causing the bed to shake violently. I have since learned to lie down more gently.

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Sooo much hair.

It looks like I pull a beaver out of the drain every two months.

Ps- fun fact, adding daughters to the mix does not double the hair. Somehow it’s actually squared. I don’t get it either.

Image credits: amateurdwarftosser


Putting out fires, thankfully! We had a little grease fire and I came running in with a bucket of water and she grabbed me by the arm and handed me a blanket instead, I almost f*ckin killed us both by being an idiot.


Not drying off in the shower before stepping on the bath mat, therefore minimizing how wet the bath mat gets.

Image credits: Vast_Mulberry1156



Before her, all I did was brush my teeth and shower daily.

I watched this woman wake up earlier to do a whole skin care routine every day on top of showering and doing her make-up.

Every inch of her always smelled so good and her skin so soft, I didn't even say anything about it. I just thought to myself, "she does this and I appreciate it, let me repay the favor."

We're not together anymore, but I stole her hygiene routine without her even knowing

Image credits: _IratePirate_


How good it feels to keep my home organized and clean. After living with my now ex-wife for six years, I can’t help but do deep cleans for my mental health.

I really appreciate a solid vacuum cleaner, I feel better keeping wires off the floor, I’m proud of my undersink collection of cleaners and spare sponges (change out your dishwashing sponges ? regularly!), I loaded up on 30+ microfiber cloths from Home Depot so I’m never without a way to clean up dust/messes, and I Konmari the sh*t out of my belongings on a regular basis for great relief. ?‍?

Also I appreciate:

tissue boxes in every room

Rugs next to the bed

Every thing must have a home

Matching furniture has a subtle but powerful effect

Art on the walls does look nicer in frames, even dirt cheap frames from IKEA

Hiding cords feels good (combined with easy access for inevitable fiddling)

Taking out the trash feels as good as pooping

Image credits: soft_becoming


Cheap toilet paper is unacceptable


I never got in trouble for being unfaithful in someone else’s dreams until I lived with a woman.


Seasoning meat. And damn was she right, it needs some spices on it.


Bed Sheets. I used to cheap out, but pampering yourself in nice bed sheets makes it feel like you're staying at a fancy hotel every night.

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The bathroom trash can is only used for bathroom trash

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the bucket of water after mopping shouldn't go on the sink, it should go on the toilet.

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Apparently one does not drink wine directly from the bottle.

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Folding panties. I swear it's so pointless

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Putting raw meat at the top of the fridge and cooked meat under. She was like your gonna give us all food poisoning. If that meat juice lands on the cooked meat your gonna make us all I'll af.

So yeah, cooked meat at the top, raw on the bottom.


That I was damaging my pans by rinsing and soaking them right after using them.

Now I just let them sit on the stove for a week so they are nice and cool before I might wash them.

Image credits: SDdude81


I didn’t know that I can be wrong just because of my tone but if I said something, and my tone was not right, I am wrong

Image credits: TheRevolutionaryArmy


The act of doing laundry is not 3 separate chores (washing, drying, folding & putting away.) It is one chore and you either did it or not.


How to laundry, cook, wash dishes, clean the room, save bills… anything I’m now doing for living is taught by women who lived with me.


Lived with a girl who did the whole toilet seat thing

So, I'm a boy and lazily left the seat up.

She told me that I needed to leave the seat down (and lid up). She was adamant that this was the right way of doing it. But she is wrong

Let's get this absolutely clear: the lid needs to be down at all times, when not in use


Not even when I started living with her, literally like so much related to my health and dealing with medical sh*t. "What, you mean it's not normal to take 12 f*cking pain killers to deal with working in a Warehouse?"


Not having a trash can in the bathroom

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Pronouncing certain words. She couldn't stop laughing when I said pseudoscience (seuwaydo science).


I load the dishwasher wrong (according to her), but at least none of my dishes come out with food still on them.

Image credits: The-Colorado-Kid


I thought my clean clothes went in the clean pile on one side of the room, and the dirty clothes went under the bed. Boy did I get that one wrong...


Meal plan; apparently “Mexican Monday” should include more than meat, cheese and a taco shell. Who knew?


I didn’t realize you’re supposed to close the shower curtain after you’re done showering.


Pretty much how to take care of my hair and skin better. Also made me better at taking care of myself in general.

For example I put coconut oil in my hair before I go swimming. I learned this from a girlfriend I had in Hawaii.

Apparently it helps seal moisture in as well as protect your hair from damage. Whatever it does, my hair gets softer, smoother and bigger after it dries. I swear it never looked so fabulous in my life.

Edit: After reading some comments, I just want to clarify.

It's not like a shampoo or styling product. You don't need that much.

Too much going down the drains can mess up your pipes. So please don't pour goops of it over your head.

I just rub a few drops between my hands then tousled my hair until it has a nice sheen.


You are supposed to iron shirts inside out And there is a blend where you need to use a dish towel or else the nylon in the shirt will end up shiny!

Also dishwashers have multiple filters you are supposed to clean out!


Apparently I'm supposed to go to the doctor every now and then.


I tried to break-up she said I was wrong, 3 years later still together

Image credits: Not_a_NO_ONE


Decorating and convenience items. Before I started dating my place was a fairly bare bones setup. Had rooms set up for function over comfort and now the rooms just feel more welcoming and inviting. Pillows everywhere of all different textures. Art and random colorful thing hung on the wall. Because of her I've found love for a good bathrobe. It's kind of impressive how much a woman's touch changes things.


Eating, i eat too fast, and too much, and all the wrong things. Smh

Image credits: knifer137


Apparently there is a rule for pillows on a queen sized bed. I thought it required two.

My now wife was aghast and quickly corrected the amount to seven.

Image credits: NeONBRAND


The way I organize things is wrong. But she knows where everything is all the time so clearly her system works better than mine.


Not using soap or body wash in the shower is actually not normal. My family just holds this attitude that it isn't necessary. But I was told my sheets always smelled like "boy", given its my smell I just never realized. Being a little more attentive to your hygiene across the board does wonders fellas lmao


I used softener on linen, not on clothes, but it should be the other way apparently


After living with a woman, I realized I did the whole bathroom life wrong. I now moisturize daily, use women's hygiene products, and keep the lid down.


Apparently I put everything in the pantry wrong... my pantry that I have had the pleasure of using wrong for 4 years before she moved in.


Burps can smell. I had no idea until I burped in the car quietly and she could tell from the smell. It took me months of experimentation before I finally came to agree with her.


I didn't realize I was wrong with

how I organized my silverware

how I was raising my dogs

how I was raising my kids

what clothes I was wearing

my hobbies

how I talked

me being introverted


I buy the wrong color of toilet paper. She loves pink, hates pink toilet paper.


Apparently you shouldnt wash your hands with dish soap


I learned that there is a difference between having a dry scalp and having dandruff.

Dandruff is actually a condition that many people mix up with just having a dry scalp. I used dandruff shampoo for years and it can actually dry out the scalp more so it always seemed like I needed it. My wife suggested I stop using dandruff shampoo because I probably don't have actual dandruff and now my scalp isn't dry anymore.


The sound of how I swallow liquids is unbearable (apparently)


Sleeping. Apparently I moan in my sleep, like really long low monotone moans and it drives my wife crazy.


Everything. I do everything wrong.

Image credits: FibonacciZeppeli


I make the bed wrong and put the pillows in the wrong order.

I also turn the taps off in the wrong order.


I never knew that I'm supposed to stick hair to the shower wall . Genius.


Apparently there is a “wrong” way to vacuum carpet that still renders it as clean but not as aesthetically pleasing as the “right” way. Who knew? Not me, clearly.


Apparently my farts will make a room uninhabitable. My buddies and I are all industrial workers and have generally lost or sense of smell. She is still quite capable of smelling


I cough provocatively apparently.


1. loading the dishwasher 2. folding towels (this just feels like someone's strong personal preference tbh) 3. folding fitted sheets (yeah, totally thought this was bullsh*t until someone SHOWED me it was possible, damnedest thing)

Image credits: createusername101


How I use toilet paper against my bottom.

Apparently I'm required to fold it and not just mush it in my hand.


The way I smile when I see people, gotta look mean so another girl doesn’t talk to me.