I start the week with an early fight class, followed by a huge bowl of oats topped with banana, pumpkin seeds and maple syrup. I drink water during the workout and black coffee with breakfast. I write until lunch, when my partner returns from personal training. I roast vegetables — onion, carrot, peppers, tomatoes — mix in quinoa, soy sauce and tahini. Monday is pasta night — Sacla Vegan Red Pesto sauce is a favourite with the kids. After an exercise class, I have a Pulsin Pea Protein Shake. Always the same, mixed with banana, chia seeds, cacao nibs, spinach, blueberries and peanut butter. It shouldn’t work but it does.

The day starts with an exercise class, followed by the school run. Oats and a coffee when I return home. Writing. Another black coffee. A lunch of toasted wholemeal pittas with houmous because I can keep writing as I eat. Garam masala roasted chickpeas in baby gem lettuce leaves for dinner. Cherry tomatoes, corn, pickled red onion and more houmous.

I teach my first class at 6:30am, so I’m up when the clock shows 5. Coffee. Another coffee when I get back. Toast with peanut butter and a chopped banana. Out the door for another class. I make a pea purée and a cauliflower purée and spread on sourdough with rocket and sautéed mushrooms. Afternoon snack is pittas and houmous. The best. Dinner is tofu paneer from the BOSH! cookbook served with rice.

I don’t have to get up early, so I am better controlled with the caffeine. Still, the day begins with oats, banana and kiwi, and a large black coffee. I want beans on toast but there aren’t any, so I have mushrooms instead, with spinach. I mix soya cream with Dijon mustard and nutritional yeast flakes. Plenty of black pepper. It’s dhal night. I don’t work out on a Thursday, but my body wants the calories. Late at night, I’m writing and need something sweet. Alpro soya yoghurt with frozen mixed berries hits the spot.

I’m up for an early flight to Iceland for a literary festival. I’m on a panel in the afternoon with three international authors. Breakfast is at Pret A Manger because it’s the first place I see. A mango and banana sunshine bowl. I have an hour to kill so head to the lounge for a large whisky because I’m nervous about flying. There’s breakfast on the plane but they can’t find my vegan request, so I have the soya yoghurt and fruit from the vegetarian option. The panel goes well. A full house. Out for dinner with the publisher. I have a chickpea curry and a beer and convince the writer next to me to have the same.

My publisher has booked an AirBnB but there aren’t many vegan options in the fridge. I meet a friend by the harbour in Reykjavik and walk around a flea market before finding a café and having a coffee. Lunch is vegetable ramen followed by a walk around the town. It’s minus two degrees. I need coffee.

A group of writers is hosted by Icelandic bestseller, Lilja Sigurdardottir, at her home outside of the capital. She cooks a traditional lamb dish for everyone and makes me vegan chickpea pie with caramelised potatoes, red cabbage and snowflake bread. Delicious. There is also wine, and an Icelandic liqueur called Bjork.

Can’t get a cab, so have to run to catch my bus to the airport. A coffee, of course. It’s been days since I’ve eaten houmous and I blame my headache on the withdrawal but manage to find somewhere that has toast and avocado. Lunch on the plane is excellent. They have my vegan order. Sweet and sour tofu with asparagus and rice. Surprisingly good. I’m so happy to have survived another flight that my partner and I share a bottle of prosecco and the Bjork I bought at the airport, when I get home.

Psychopaths Anonymous by Will Carver is out now from Orenda Books. Follow Will on IG @will_carver

Oats with Pumpkin Seeds & Banana

Tofu Paneer

Chickpea Pie